I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
