so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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