I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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