literally had 100 drinks last night.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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