White coat. Heels.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dignity is for republicans.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Green mimosas i think yes
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
