i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
