the new term for farting is butt boxing.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
