My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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