so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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