We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
