real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
