thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
how drunk are you?
Several
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize