the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
