I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
