I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
