He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
