even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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