I will die if light touches me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
