It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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