yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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