I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
