...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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