There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
