The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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