Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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