You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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