he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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