the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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