i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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