I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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