I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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