I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
