I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
