He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize