Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
