Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
