Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
