I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to calm my uterus...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
