Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
