my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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