Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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