You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
