idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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