YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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