sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
