Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
