The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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