New invention idea: vibrating tampons
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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