I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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