meet me or not, i'm out of control
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
