in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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