laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
