the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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