I'm so fucking centered right now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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