if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
