Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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