i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
