is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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