Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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