I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
