ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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