i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize