im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
