Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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