Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
