Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
