Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
