Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He passed out mid-signature
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
