1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
